Sunday, July 2, 2006

10 things I like about Derek Jeter

by user Manny Stiles

10 things I like about Derek Jeter:


1. He's a nice enough guy, I guess... I mean he might boot a few balls here or there but he's not kicking puppies or babies, right? Then again, they did kill a cow to make his glove...

2. Did he break up with Mariah Carey? Or did she break up with him? Either way, we're all better off for it...breaking up with Mimi also proves he's not gay.

3. He makes it easy to tell who lacks discernable sports knowledge - look for the people who wear his jersey (not including himself - he seems to have a fair amount of sports knowledge) and the obligatory mustard stain on the front...

4. Even though he's his team's second best shortstop, he knows Alex Rodriguez is a better 3rd baseman, so he stayed at shortstop...

5. OK, in all seriousness, the dive into the stands was a pretty nice effort and actually made him appear to look tough for a few days.

6. Back to the sarcasm - his baseball card is worth more than if he played for say...the Royals or Pirates, since people in New York would realize what type of player he REALLY is (since everyone who isn't a Yankee sucks!). I call this the Joe DiMaggio theory...

7. He will make a fine measuring stick of who should not be in inducted into the Hall of Fame (see Black Ink, Grey Ink, HOF Standards on baseball-reference.com - note his career stats compare similarly to Ray Durham's) In other words, if Alan Tramell and Roberto Alomar don't make it before Jeter, people need to be smacked into some form of sensibility.

8. His out-of-line statistical jump from 1998-2005 proves there's no way he could be considered in the 'performance enhancing drugs' conversation since no Yankee, person born in New Jersey or grew up in Michigan has ever cheated.

9. At least he's not the ugliest over-rated player in sports...(but he is the prettiest AND ugliest MOST-Over-rated player in sports). At least he gets to take the credit for being the main component in the highest paid roster winning the occasional championship. Ever notice Mr. November averages 1 World Series home run every 43 World Series at-bats???

10a. All those routine plays he turns into highlight plays because he has no range is uncanny! Plus, double digit GIDPs for 11 straight years from a 'speedy' singles hitter is amazing!

10b. It's really not his fault baseball hasn't fixed the Gold Glove or All-Star voting procedures yet.

Aww, what the hell... #11 - I don't hate him. I actually like him a small bit and sincerely feel bad for him. Instead of realizing Derek Sanderson Jeter is JUST a good baseball player; people will read this, FREAK OUT and hate me, spit at me and curse me to hell for ever suggesting Jeter isn't God's (and Gatorade's) gift to baseball...

1 comment:

MARLINS ROCK said...

i like the rays but i like the marlins better.